


Rash

by PeppermintR



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Domestic Bliss, Fluff and Angst, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, Light Angst, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppermintR/pseuds/PeppermintR
Summary: When Ian thinks too much one morning.A short character introspection and an indulgent Mickey/Ian interaction. Drabble.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 2
Kudos: 92





	Rash

Ian stared at Mickey. He took in the way his boyfriend’s lips are parted slightly, how the word ‘fuck’ on his knuckles stood in stark contrast with his skin. _Boyfriend_ , wow, there was a time in his life when he’d never thought Mickey would officially be his. It’s as if Ian is in his own fantasies from a year ago.

He felt a twinge in his heart. Everything is perfect, well…everything is, except for him. _If only he didn’t have Monica’s illness. If only he wasn’t…sick,_ then maybe things would be better. It would be a lot more perfect. It would be like in his fairytales.

Ian struggled a lot with his thoughts. They were like fucking rashes, annoying itchy rashes he can’t stop scratching. He thought, it was already hard enough to live, but his damn brain made it even harder. Ian’s body felt heavy, he wants to snuggle closer and just forget the world for a little while, taking comfort in Mickey’s warmth.

 _Mickey’s here. Mickey’s here right now_ , _calm down,_ his brain supplies.

_But what if Mickey isn’t here? What if Mickey wouldn’t stay? What if Mickey woke up and decide it’s too much—you’re too much, Ian—you’re too—_

He scrunches up his face and tries to control his emotions. He doesn’t know why this is as overwhelming as it is right now. Why did he feel like this?

Suddenly, he feels a hand settle on his face, snapping him out of his invasive thoughts. Mickey gently stroked his cheek; a trademark Mickey move from way back when.

_This means he cares._

Ian’s breathing slowed down and he wills himself to open his eyes, seeing Mickey’s blue ones staring back in worry.

_I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I didn’t mean to make you hurt._

He tries to speak but nothing came out, instead, he covers Mickey’s hand with his own and moved closer as a response.

“Hey, you okay?” Mickey says with a voice so tender Ian couldn’t imagine he would ever hear Mickey speak like this a year ago—when everything was bad between them.

There was a beat as Mickey waited patiently for him, for Ian to speak. Ian would always tell him how he feels eventually.

Ian breathes out shakily, doesn’t know why he feels his eye sting with tears.

“Don’t,” He says hoarsely. He remembers Mickey’s own voice floating in his brain, saying the same words enveloped with hurt. Because of Ian. _Because of me._ He pushes those thoughts away. “Don’t…leave me.” Ian whispers.

He doesn’t know why he says this now. Ian doesn’t know why he’s the one saying it when he was the one who bolted. Maybe it’s a plea, _don’t leave me after you realize how shitty I was to you_ or _don’t leave me when things get bad again._

Ian doesn’t want to look and see Mickey’s expression right now. _I’m pathetic,_ Ian thinks.

He’s staring hard at Mickey’s jaw, which seemed to slacken when he heard Ian’s words.

“As if you have any say in this,” Mickey replies, Ian’s heart stops, _he’s right, I don’t have any right—_

But then Mickey lifts Ian’s chin so he could look him in the eye, “I’m like a rash, Gallagher, I ain’t ever going away whether you like it or not.”

Ian couldn’t stop the startled laugh that bubbled out from him and kissed Mickey’s smile with his own.

When things quietened down, they both reveled in the peaceful repose of the morning.

“You know, Mickey…”

“Hm?”

“I think you could be a poet.” Ian smirks, eyes still watery, but he feels lighter.

“Fuck you.” Says Mickey, eyes closed, mirroring Ian’s amused smirk.

 _I love you_ , thinks Ian.

“You’re an idiot.” Mickey adds, burying his face in Ian’s chest.

Which probably means _I love you too_ in Mickey language.


End file.
